When a missionary comes home early.

When an LDS missionary comes home early, for any reason, the Church tells parents it doesn't mean they've done something wrong as parents, and that they don't need to blame themselves or anyone else. Welcome your missionary home, thank them for their service, and let their healing come before any decision about going back. That's the Church's guidance in its Counseling Resources  (opens the Church's page in a new tab).

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You haven't done something wrong.

The Church's guidance asks leaders to help parents understand that a missionary's early return doesn't mean the parents have done something wrong, and that they don't need to punish or blame themselves or others.

Whatever the reason, it asks leaders to help families focus on the missionary and their healing, rather than on how others may see it.

How they may feel.

The Church says missionaries who come home early may feel disappointed, embarrassed or discouraged. They may worry how other people see them, or how the Lord sees them, and they may feel a sense of loss.

Welcome them home.

Thank them for the service they gave, and help them focus on what they did, not on what they didn't do. The Church teaches that the Lord values and accepts the service they gave, including that they accepted the call to serve.

Call them a "returned missionary", not an "early-returned" or "early-released" missionary. That's the Ensign's advice to loved ones, from July 2019.

Listen first. The Church's guidance to its institute teachers suggests not giving advice too quickly, and avoiding phrases like "At least you..." or "Be grateful that...".

No pressure to go back.

The Church's guidance puts healing first. Decisions about going back to missionary service come later.

The same guidance asks leaders to discourage family members from pressuring a missionary to go back before they're ready, or if they don't want to.

Some missionaries do return to service, sometimes in a different assignment or as a service missionary. When that isn't possible, leaders encourage them in other things, such as school or work.

Who can help.

Your bishop and stake president. The handbook asks them to give special support to missionaries who come home early.

Their mission president and his wife. The Church encourages your missionary to keep in touch with them.

A mentor. Leaders may help your missionary find a trusted person to meet with regularly, sometimes another returned missionary with a similar experience.

Family Services. In some areas, it provides counseling sessions for missionaries who come home early. A referral from your bishop is required.

Help for your family.

An early return affects the whole family. The Church asks leaders to help family members with their own struggles, concerns and questions too.

Leaders are also asked to encourage the family to counsel together about what your missionary needs, and the help that's there for them.

If you'd like help yourself, talk with your bishop. The Church's Family Services  (opens the Church's page in a new tab) supports family members helping someone, through a referral from a bishop.