When the first letters are hard.
It's normal for an LDS missionary to feel homesick or discouraged at times, and to tell their family so. The Church says both in its Missionary Standards (opens the Church's page in a new tab). Write back with love and your own faith, and if you need to reach your missionary outside P-day, contact their mission president first.
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A hard letter is a normal letter.
The Church tells missionaries that feeling sad, anxious, homesick or discouraged at times is normal while serving. Its booklet for missionaries, Adjusting to Missionary Life, says homesickness is common, especially for someone who hasn't been away from home much.
It also tells them it's OK to share frustration and discouragement with close family, and that talking about a hard situation can sometimes help the feeling pass. So when your missionary tells you about a hard week, they're doing something the Church says is OK.
The same booklet says it generally takes about six weeks to begin to adapt to a new place.
What to write back.
An article to parents in the Church's Liahona suggests reminding your missionary of the work they were called to do, and of who they are: a child of God, trusted with His work.
Ask about the people they're teaching and what has strengthened them most, and think about praying for those people in your own prayers.
Rather than updates on TV shows or sports, share moments when the Lord guided, comforted or taught you.
If there's hard news from home, you can tell them. The Church asks your missionary to let their mission leaders know about an emergency at home, so they can support them.
You can write any day. Your missionary may read what you send whenever they have time, and they reply on P-day, or sooner for a special occasion or an emergency.
Who is there for your missionary.
Your missionary isn't meant to carry it alone. The Church asks them to share their concerns with their companion, the missionaries who lead them, or their mission leaders, and to reach out for support.
Their mission leaders are the mission president and his wife. The Church says they listen to missionaries' concerns and help keep them safe and happy.
If a missionary needs more help, the Church asks them to talk to the mission president, his wife or the mission's medical coordinator, who have access to mental health resources. It also tells them there is no shame in getting help for an emotional or mental concern.
In a letter, you can remind your missionary of these people, and that the Church wants them to reach out.
If you're worried.
If your family needs to reach your missionary outside P-day, the Church asks you to contact their mission president first. Ask your missionary early for the mission office's phone number and email, and keep them where you can find them.
If something in a letter makes you think your missionary isn't safe, don't wait for P-day: contact their mission president.
The mission president talks with your stake president and your family about serious health concerns, and mission leaders will contact you if your missionary has an emergency.
For how your missionary writes home week to week, read how your missionary writes home.
Help for you at home.
You may be feeling sadness and worry yourself. If you'd like help, talk with your bishop. The Church's Family Services (opens the Church's page in a new tab) offers counseling and other support to members, including family members supporting someone, through a referral from a bishop.
Where this comes from.
This guide follows the Church's own pages, checked in November 2026. If anything here has changed, follow the Church's page.
- Missionary Standards, 7.6 and 7.7: Difficult Situations, and Physical and Mental Health Concerns (opens the Church's page in a new tab)
- Missionary Standards, 2.1: Mission Leadership (opens the Church's page in a new tab)
- Missionary Standards, 3.9: Communication with Family, Mission Leaders, and Friends (opens the Church's page in a new tab)
- Adjusting to Missionary Life: Resources for Managing Emotional Demands (opens the Church's page in a new tab)
- Liahona, August 2024: How to Communicate Support to Your Missionary Son or Daughter (opens the Church's page in a new tab)
- Family Services (opens the Church's page in a new tab)